Okay, so Top Chef Chicago has its season finale a couple of nights ago. Stephanie won -- the person I wanted to win won. In the three previous seasons I have been throwing forth my thought vibrations hoping to disrupt the chances of a really loud, mean nasty finalist -- the same kind of person whom I cannot stand in real life. However, I was not really pulling FOR someone. Top chef has been like a lot of past presidential elections – not so much a vote FOR someone as a vote to prevent someone else from winning.
I was FOR Stephanie.
It did not matter what happened to Lisa, the overtly angry, always-arms-crossed, open lesbo who seems to become completely angry with any man for any reason and completely quiet and relaxed with any woman regardless. She has a great, deep emotional story to be discovered in years of therapy, I am sure. There is a Lifetime TV movie there somewhere. And I am not anti-woman or anti-lesbian.
After all, I was FOR Stephanie who spent a lot of time making pro-woman comments and I spend a lot of time making pro-woman (just a strange word: pro-woman) comments and efforts at work. At one point in my career I was a member of the National Organization of Men Against Sexism. No, I was not again Lisa for her female-ness.
Nor did her lesbian orientation have any bearing on it. As a big ol’ gay man I wish I had a million lesbian friends. I still grieve over the unexplained loss of the only lesbian friend of my life. The chasm that exists between the two sides of our community is problematic in a broad sense on many levels.
My issue with Lisa is simple: unnecessary, ungrounded, unrecognized meanness toward others AND an unwillingness to be open to hearing constructive criticism.
Then there is Richard who I thought was gay, gay, gay but as it turns out is married with child. Who knew! Damn how I could relate to his unending internal self-editing.
He will steered the recipe here, no then there over there – new twist, then another tweak, oh yeah, what about that, and then he could add this too, and, finally, DAMN TIME IS OUT, OVER, DONE!
Richard, Richard, Richard….
Top chef is not the most fandangled, complicated cook-er in the kitchen. Look dear Richard at the American auto industry vs. the Japanese/Korean auto industry. The Americans, rather build quality cars that require little maintenance, added electric doodads and shiny options and sparkly bling. Then Asian companies went with a planned, tiered approached. Step-by-step they rolled out improvements to safety, options and mechanics across all lines. This saved money for the company which made their cars cheaper. America’s rush to catch up was pricey and it got passed on the consumer. What Asian companies passed onto consumers was quality in manner that increased with each model year and with costs that were small in comparison to their American counterparts.
In the final four, one of Richard’s out takes was genius. When the four finalists were cooking for the Puerto Rican Governor’s wife and friends, he said something about how Lisa was abandoning her Asian-influenced cuisine in favor what she thought would be popular Latin flavors. Richard said something like: you have to stick to who you are. That’s why people are going to like you and your food. These people here; they are the experts on Puerto Rico. To give them their food is like inviting criticism. Give them what you know and they are going to like it.
So, Richard, dear Richard, henceforth, my brother in over-thinking, over-redoing, over self-editing, do what I have learned (and often relearned): Stick to the snapshot inspiration that first crystallizes in your head. Follow it to its culmination. After it’s done, let feedback come in. Let the feedback rest in your head and heart. Then add your own feedback. Finally take the snapshot and redo it based on ONLY the feedback that rings true to your heart and head as well as your own thoughts. Now you have a second generation snapshot. Make it. No edits. No changes. Repeat, if necessary. Document each step. Leave the recipe alone for six weeks and imagine making it again. Now play with it in your amazing brain.
Self-editing while cooking won’t work for you. It takes you away from your best self.
Finally, Stephanie. From humble, doubting chef to humble, somewhat confident, somewhat disbelieving winning Top Chef, your journey was amazing. Your journey was beautiful. To see a nice, kind, supportive individual win on their merits of consistency inspires my entire life.
Your pound cake dessert in the finale was perfectly imperfect simply because it shows that you are perfectly you. Give me a double of that. The inventive vision of the lamb dish did not come from your heart or your head or your experience – it came from some deep sacred place inside that transcends past, present and future. You made a universal harmonious dish:
Olives of the Mediterrean
Pistachios of the new world
Blackberries of the farm
Who would not, could not love this dish? It’s like when my vegetarian friend acknowledges the only meat dish she will eat is this grilled lamb marinated in Asian flavors I make – hehehe, so is she a vegetarian or has food opened her heart?
Thank you, Stephanie, from the first episode to the last, I cheered for you, because your heart and soul were worn with integrity. Never a harsh word, never anything to dissuade me from believing in you, you remind me to be a better me and to be better at doing everything I try.
p.s. please tell dale he is way cute.
